(Official Game Rules)
Spleen Spleen Sploul is a game requiring exemplary skill and cunning, and no small physical endurance . . . The essence of the game is to accumulate as many spleens as possible before either player says sploul, . . . player taking his (or her[2]) turn to be "at spleen". The player must then decide whether to enter . . . a bid of "spleen" gaining one point, or to enter a plea of "sploul". . . . who was the "venter" (the first player to be at spleen), unless of course the single timeline time-travel . . .
4K - last updated 2009-06-26 14:46 UTC by jimmy
Clocktails
God's Tears - Brandy, Port, Red Bull - Cough Mixture (Benylin) Sloughs's Dishonour - Gin, Port, Red Bull . . . what have you produced there? Flaming Omnipotent Spleen - Port, Gin, Cinzano Bianco - That's quite nice . . .
5K - last updated 2014-03-29 23:24 UTC by Not Dr Phil
Cornwall
Contains worryingly little genetic variation and worryingly large numbers of tin mines operated by zombies. . . . as Cornwall doesn't actually possess an economy. Spleen, Spleen, Sploul --- The sport of [[(Official_Game_Rules)|Spleen, . . . Spleen, Sploul]]is also banned in Cornwall as it's . . .
2K - last updated 2009-06-29 19:04 UTC by Phil
HomePage
Introduction === Welcome to the Bureau Wiki. Here we attempt to document all facets of Bureau Myth and . . . * [[CRAPta]] * [[HatsOfHanoi|Hats of Hanoi]] * [[Spleen]], [[Spleen]], [[Sploul]] [[(Official Game Rules)]] . . .
3K - last updated 2025-06-07 09:04 UTC by Not El Presidente
Spleen
See [[Sploul]] . . .
1K - last updated 2009-06-21 15:20 UTC by Phil
Sploul
See [[Spleen]] . . .
1K - last updated 2009-06-21 15:20 UTC by Phil
Strategy Guide
BOATPIG is not an experience for the faint hearted, it will challenge your wits and morality at every . . . Delmonte * The appreciation of modern art * Play Spleen, Spleen, Sploul * The chance to become a professional . . .
1K - last updated 2016-08-14 21:30 UTC by Not Prof P
bp104
BOATPIG Page 104 Suspecting that internal promotion is probably not a quick or reliable method for advancement . . . Ministry inexplicable, you did after all lose at Spleen, Spleen, Sploul. Your Achievements or Otherwise . . . a Bureau Member = -50pts * You were gracious in Spleen, Spleen, Sploul defeat = +8pts * But you did . . .
2K - last updated 2013-05-07 07:02 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp108
BOATPIG Page 108 With the match finely balanced you decide that now is the time to deploy Lord Howe's . . . tactical seamanship it's not exactly relevant to Spleen, Spleen, Sploul and certainly isn't a recognised . . . manoeuvre, then you wouldn't have lost at Spleen, Spleen, Sploul and so failed your interview. . . . interview = +1pt * Because you were defeated at Spleen, Spleen, Sploul = -5pts * Due to the deployment . . .
3K - last updated 2013-09-22 21:26 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp129
BOATPIG Page 129 For some inexplicable reason you feel you deserve far more than a provisional role, . . . despite your Spleen, Spleen, Sploul defeat. Certainly the Bureau . . . you rejected it = -123pts * You were gracious in Spleen, Spleen, Sploul defeat = +9pts * You did however . . . *Future Life* = Dejected at both your defeat in Spleen, Spleen, Sploul and your failure to obtain a . . .
2K - last updated 2013-04-03 19:11 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp17
BOATPIG Page 17 With a spring in your heart and hope in your feet you accept the high honour of a provisional . . . disappointment = +2pts * You were gracious in Spleen, Spleen, Sploul defeat = +9pts * But you shouldn't . . .
3K - last updated 2012-05-30 20:42 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp182
BOATPIG Page 182 Jimmy is delighted you have the Amulet and talks you through the rest of the requirements, . . . to weaken it before stabbing it through the spleen with the sword. Many months of questing later . . .
2K - last updated 2013-09-17 21:49 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp27
BOATPIG Page 27 You accept the judgement, stating that you knew it was a risk when you entered the "Duchess" . . . or Lava Mine = -32pts * You were defeated at Spleen, Spleen, Sploul = -25pts * The Otter forgave . . .
3K - last updated 2013-12-16 07:46 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp29
BOATPIG Page 29 Channelling that spirit of D H Lawrence you unleash Lady Chatterley’s Subsequent Bitter . . . and your damnation score is greater that your spleen encumbrance rating, neither of which are the . . . Bureau - GAME OVER Your Ending --- Defeated at Spleen, Spleen, Sploul your challenge has failed and . . .
3K - last updated 2013-02-06 07:47 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp34
BOATPIG Page 34 After narrowly avoiding detection during the feather dance round of the interview, you . . . note with a request for justice through trial by Spleen, Spleen, Sploul, turn to [[bp99|page 99]]. . . .
2K - last updated 2012-12-28 11:03 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp36
BOATPIG Page 36 Your shrug-based display of indifference borders on the arrogance, but at this point . . . what might have been had you shown more skill at Spleen, Spleen, Sploul. Would you care to [[Bureau . . .
3K - last updated 2013-09-17 21:27 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp44
BOATPIG Page 44 Holding back the tears you accept the high honour of provisional membership of the Stav . . . and confusion = +10pts * You were gracious in Spleen, Spleen, Sploul defeat = +8pts * But you did . . .
3K - last updated 2012-07-28 15:55 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp49
BOATPIG Page 49 You recall von Sploul's Maxim No.431a Sub-clause 18 - "Never use Highland Metaphor unless . . . on your understanding of the strategic aspect of Spleen, Spleen, Sploul. The match is quickly arranged, . . . 'Sploul.' Your mind races, do you; * Venture a spleen, turn to [[bp9|page 9]]. * Unleash a counter-sploul, . . .
1K - last updated 2012-03-09 22:28 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp54
BOATPIG Page 54 The Bureau go into a conclave to discuss your triumph, eventually a vote is called by . . . still Jimmy's = -200pts * You were victorious at Spleen, Spleen, Sploul = +25pts * The Otter of Regret . . .
3K - last updated 2013-03-29 12:10 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp55
BOATPIG Page 55 You call out to the referee to attract his attention and raise a complaint, alas it appears . . . rejected = -10pts * Your understanding of Spleen, Spleen, Sploul rulesets is poor = -5pt * Your . . .
2K - last updated 2012-03-04 15:07 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp59
BOATPIG Page 59 As Stav has entered a plea of Sploul you believe the game to be over and concede to him, . . . your knowledge of the classical opening moves of Spleen, Spleen, Sploul does you credit, the Bureau . . .
1K - last updated 2013-06-15 14:36 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp6
BOATPIG Page 6 In the grandest traditions of Bureau gaming you take advantage of an opponents misfortune . . . and disrespect. Regularly. = -20pts * You won Spleen, Spleen, Sploul = +50pts * But at a terrible . . . ==== * *Grand Total* = -31pts * *Rating* = A Spleen, Spleen, Sploul victory and a role in the bureau, . . .
3K - last updated 2012-06-01 06:43 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp63
BOATPIG Page 63 You recall the Tajikistani Plumber ruleset being fairly straightforward, as your SSS . . . the Bureau with your poor knowledge of both Spleen, Spleen, Sploul rules and basic etiquette, your . . . future = +10pts * You didn't die. = +4pts * Your Spleen, Spleen, Sploul skills are weak = -25pt * Never . . . to being a Stav Minister is through mastering Spleen, Spleen, Sploul you devote the rest of your . . .
2K - last updated 2012-03-02 23:11 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp71
BOATPIG Page 71 Not wanting to vent on a full stomach you ask for the Continental option. This does not . . . meaning of 'Full English' in the world of Spleen, Spleen, Sploul. On your side you see a vast . . .
2K - last updated 2012-03-04 15:09 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp76
BOATPIG Page 76 Realising that conventional tactics are no good against as accomplished a player as Stav, . . . Stavanomics. = +37pts * You were victorious at Spleen, Spleen, Sploul = +20pts * You aren't actually . . .
3K - last updated 2014-05-20 07:27 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp80
BOATPIG Page 80 Realising you cannot triumph in circumstances likes this (because if nothing else the . . . move, a gesture in the finest traditions of what-spleen-spleen-sploul-isn't-but-should-be. As you watch . . .
1K - last updated 2013-04-02 20:24 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp87
BOATPIG Page 87 You stare at the tube map and plot a cunning route to avoid the Central Line. With not . . . turn to [[bp19|page 19]]. * Suggest a game of Spleen, Spleen, Sploul to decide the matter, turn to . . .
1K - last updated 2013-10-08 20:31 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp9
BOATPIG Page 9 Aghast at this turn of event you panic and, without thinking, enter a bid, declaring "Spleen". . . . broken by the sound of the door opening and the Spleen Police coming to take you away, charging you . . . crimes against splouls and attempting to play spleen, spleen sploul while clearly having no idea . . . of your crimes against man, nature, god and spleen, spleen, sploul the Bureau are unanimous in . . . Member = 0 points * You have no idea how to play spleen, spleen, sploul = -10pts * But you decided to . . .
3K - last updated 2012-03-29 07:07 UTC by Not Dr Phil
bp91
BOATPIG Page 91 You elect the Full English to appreciative nods from the Bureau, this surprises you as . . . the only possible meaning of 'Full English' in Spleen, Spleen, Sploul. With the chanting of the Monks . . . and shock he accidentally enters a bid of "Spleen". The crowd are silenced at this tragic turn . . .
2K - last updated 2012-12-28 23:46 UTC by Not Dr Phil
29 pages found.