BOATPIG Page 36
Your shrug-based display of indifference borders on the arrogance, but at this point you’ve frankly given up. However all is not lost as the Bureau pause to go into a huddle. You catch odd snatches from their discussion ‘cowardly’, ‘ungrateful’ and ‘all in all a perfect match then’. What this means you have no idea.
There is a quick vote and then The Party Chairman announces that, while you have spectacularly failed the interview, the Bureau do wish to offer you a position - Grand High Ambassador to France. Temporarily shocked into silence you can only nod your assent as you struggle to take it all in. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
You have a position working for the Bureau, which is better than not being in the Bureau at all. Possibly. Hopefully.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You work for the Stav Bureau = +50pts
- You will report directly to the Bureau = +18pts
- However you are not actually a member = -69pts
- You will be expected to live in France = +9pts
- In Paris = -88pts
- Your role is to deliver the official Bureau comminques to the French government = -8pts
- You’ll be lucky to survive the week = -1pts
- Emotional State; slight pride and disappointment = +2pts
- You didn’t die = +1pt
Ranking
- Grand Total = -86pts
- Rating = A role working with (OK for) the bureau and not dead, that could have gone a lot worse I suppose. And a lot better, but still surviving is an achievement in itself in Boatpig and you should be appropriately proud.
- Future Life = After you learn that, despite the massive provocations, the French do actually respect your diplomatic status you relax into your new life and even start to enjoy it. While you occasionally worry that delivering regular diplomatic insults to the French government may grow stale after a while you are delighted to discover that, in fact, it never grows old. For all that you still long for a hollowed out volcano lair and wonder what might have been had you shown more skill at Spleen, Spleen, Sploul.
Would you care to try again?