BOATPIG Page 6
In the grandest traditions of Bureau gaming you take advantage of an opponents misfortune and proudly enter a plea of “Sploul”, the crowd erupting as they celebrate your victory. While the commentators compare the match to the Controversial 1878 World Final in Berlin you turn to the Bureau. You have won the match, but at what cost to your honour and reputation?
The Bureau confer, weighing your victory against the sheer effrontery of invoking the grandest traditions of the Bureau while not actually being a member. A decision is reached and by a vote of 4 to 0.2 you are elected as Deputy Vice Acting Under-Minister for Insolence and Disrespect. That could have gone better. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
You have achieved a position in the Bureau. Well done. Sort of.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You didn’t die = +5pts
- You have a position in the Stav Bureau = +100pts
- You are not a Stav Minister = -100pts
- The role is very junior = -10pts
- Unlike full ministers who are responsible for their areas it is your role to experience insolence and disrespect. Regularly. = -20pts
- You won Spleen, Spleen, Sploul = +50pts
- But at a terrible cost = -63pts
- Emotional State; pride, elation and crushing disappointment = +7pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = -31pts
- Rating = A Spleen, Spleen, Sploul victory and a role in the bureau, fine achievements so why the low score? Because your role is to spend your entire time in the Bureau being treated with insolence and disrespect - that was your crime so it will also be your punishment. Still, your not dead and that’s a mighty achievement in BOATPIG
- Stav Bureau Career = Though your Stav Bureau role is apparently a warning to others you begin to suspect that it may just have been imposed because the Bureau are enjoying it. That you fail to realise it could be both explains your failure to progress far up the Bureau career ladder, a solid five decades of effort and dying in the job being rewarded when the Bureau posthumously remove the ‘Acting’ part of your job title. All in all it could have gone better.
Would you care to try again?