BOATPIG Page 44
Holding back the tears you accept the high honour of provisional membership of the Stav Bureau! The voting members of the Bureau confer and by unanimous vote of 4.2 to 0 you are elected to take up office as the Junior Assistant Acting Under-Minister for Gracious Defeat.
To be honest it’s not quite what you were hoping for. Indeed so lowly is the appointment that the ladder of Stav Bureau rankings has been specially lowered just for you, the previous lowest rung not being humble enough. It goes without saying that the mysterious and powerful secrets of the Legacy, the Ritual and the Prophecy are far above your level and the intricacies of the Lava Mining operations and Stavanomics are still withheld from you. Still, at least you are a member of the Bureau, even if it is provisional. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
You are a provisional member of the Bureau! Well done.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You are a Bureau Member = +100pts
- It’s only provisional = -99pts
- Emotional State; pride and confusion = +10pts
- You were gracious in Spleen, Spleen, Sploul defeat = +8pts
- But you did lose = -7pts
- You are too junior to get your own Lava Mine = -12pts
- Stavanomics remains a mystery to you = -4pts
- You didn’t die = +5pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = +1pts
- Rating = A member of the bureau, a positive score and your not dead! By BOATPIG standards that’s spectacular. Well done.
- Stav Bureau Career = Through diligent work and taking every opportunity to be graciously defeated you rise through the ranks of the Bureau, gaining promotion and responsibility. Eventually you reach the lofty level of Senior Deputy Vice-Minister for All Kinds of Defeat, a position which comes with many perks, not least your own Open-Cat Mine and a position at on the ‘People who may get a vote if there is literally no other option’ list.
- Future Life = Though you are proud of your achievements you do wonder if maybe you should have aimed higher, kept chasing the dream of being a full Stav Minister with all the perks that entails; your own Lava Mine and hollowed out volcano base on the global monorail network. Luckily your work in the Ministry of Defeats keeps you far too busy to speculate on such idle dreams of what might have been.
Would you care to try again?