BOATPIG Page 89
Denied the self-immolating bendy buses you are forced to fall back on more traditional incendiary devices. After many weeks of trial and error you hit upon an elaborate detonator that starts an large engine fire right after the bus driver ignores traffic signs, other motorists, the highway code or common sense.
This targeted campaign results in most buses failing to make it to the second stop on their route, leaving the burnt out husks of buses littering the streets of London. As you contemplate what you have wrought you are suddenly overcome with a wave of shocking guilt, this hasn’t actually helped you get to the pub on time and you’ve quite spectacularly missed the interview. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
Having missed the interview by several weeks the Bureau are less than impressed. However your trail of bus based arson is taken into account and you are offered a post as Vice-Deputy-Junior-Minister for Arson, which you accept on the grounds it is better than nothing.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You failed to even attend the interview = -25pts
- However you are still a Bureau Member = +101pts
- But you are not a Minister = -75pts
- After your arson spree you are known as the Covert Coach Combustor = +13pts
- Emotional State; Pride and lingering disappointment at failing to attend the interview = +17pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = +31pts
- Rating = A positive score and your in the Bureau. Truly this is one of the better endings, only held back as you are not a Minister and your path to the top will not be easy from this point.
- Future Life = Despite a less than promising start you do at least have a role in the Bureau, however arson is a popular field in the Stav Bureau and competition in the Ministry is intense. Your commitment to the use of fire to advance the aims of the Bureau see you through however and you are eventually rewarded with a transfer to the prestigious Ministry of Lava as Assistant-Under-Minister for Unnecessary Research, working on ways to make lava mining even less economical and thus even more evil. While this is satisfying you will always wonder what might have been had you actually made it to the interview on time.
Would you care to try again?