BOATPIG Page 79
As you are already in quite a lot of trouble due to being spectacularly late you realise you have little to lose so can risk honesty. The hotline voice admits she has no idea how to handle this and informs you the Bureau will be in touch in due course once they’ve considered your extraordinary statement. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
Eventually the Bureau get back to you and, to your surprise, the news is good. They believe you would be a natural fit in the Ministry of Security as Deputy-Vice-Under-Junior-Associate-Minister for Public Information. Surprise and delighted, but not that delighted given the number of qualifiers attached to the title, you accept.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You didn’t die = +1pt
- You are a Bureau Member = +50pts
- You are not a full minister = -25pts
- Your package is a lava effect electric fire and a leaflet on how amazing Stavanomics is = +1pt
- You will not get a vote = -8pts
- It is unclear quite what you have to do in your Public Information related role = -2pts
- This is charmingly ironic = +3pts
- Emotional State; surprise, joy, surprise and mild apprehension = +8pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = +28pts
- Rating = Not dead and in the Burea, so why so low? Well look at the shear number of words between the start of your job title and the word Minister. That’s not good is it?
- Stav Bureau Career = While starting low the only way is up. Technically untrue, in the Bureau things can always get worse for those who offend a Voting Member, you try to focus on the positives. For the Bureau Public Information doesn’t mean giving information to the public, it is more concerned with getting information from the public and passing it to the appropriate section of the Ministry of Security. As the new chief snitch herder it will be your job to ensure people inform early and often.
- Future Life = Working hard you establish a reputation as a master of sources, you can convince anyone to inform on anyone about anything, sometimes the information you receive is even true, but that’s just a bonus. Eventually you progress up the ranks, culminating in a transfer to the Ministry of Justice as Vice-Minister for Witness Encouragement. Whenever there is a trial or investigation that needs a key informant or a convenient eye witness, you will be there convincing people to say what needs to be said. Occasionally you wonder if you should have kept up your interest in Bagpipes, but all things considered you feel life has turned out well.
Would you care to try again