BOATPIG Page 205
Realising the Dagenham gambit is probably going to end badly you attempt to shift the focus back to the actual question instead of mere trivialities such as where the Near East is. Of course this is somewhat complicated by the fact you’ve no idea what the Near Eastern Question actually is. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
It turns out that in this case ‘Somewhat complicated’ means ‘doomed to failure’, your verbal flailing highlighting the fact that you’ve no idea what the Near Eastern Question is and inadvertently highlighting the fact you still have no idea where the Near East is.
Needless to say this goes down badly and the Bureau are quick to put you out of your misery and end the interview, to your complete lack of surprise the Chairman informs you that you have failed miserably.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You didn’t die = +1pt
- You aren’t a Minister = -25pts
- Not even a member of the Bureau = -15pts
- You did at least make it to the interview = +9pts
- You then failed the interview miserably = -10pts
- The Chairman doesn’t look impressed = -18pts
- That sounds ominous = -37pts
- Emotional State; disappointment, fear, confusion over where the Near East is and worry. And fear. = -12pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = -107pts
- Rating = At least you didn’t die, that’s something. Though that is pretty much the only thing you have to cling onto.
- Future Life = While your lack of knowledge about the Near Eastern Question is disappointing, it pales into insignificance compared to your complete lack of blagging skills. This is a crime the Bureau cannot and will not forgive. After the formality of your trial, where you are found guilty of many, many crimes (some of which you even committed) the Chairman dons the ceremonial black and white striped fez and sentences you to far too many years hard labour, working in the fields at pointless work and being thrashed should you fail to meet arbitrary targets. This has nothing at all to do with your crimes, but it is your punishment.
Would you care to try again