bp196

BOATPIG Page 196

Deciding discretion is the better part of valour, or at least the part least likely to get you killed, you keep silent rather than risk a speculative blag. The chanting acolytes of the Stavish Cult swing their port scented incense burners and convey you to the chair of judgement. One seated the senior monk announces the Appeal is now formally over and the Bureau are ready to interpret the Deputy Chairman’s judgement. - GAME OVER

Your Ending

Stav Minister Axle stands and explains that, after much deliberation, the Bureau has agreed with his interpretation of the reaction of Steve and are unanimous in declaring you guilty of low grade treason. This comes as something of a surprise to you, as is often the case with Bureau Justice. However, as Steve did not bark at you, it’s clear he finds your treason contemptibly petty and so, with mild reluctance, they will agree with his wishes and let you live. You are however banned from ever applying to the Bureau and moreover should get out of the pub while you still have two unbroken legs to walk on.

Your Achievements or Otherwise

• You failed the interview quite badly = -8pts
• You failed the Deputy Chairman’s Appeal = -17pts
• You failed to become a member of the Bureau = -25pts
• That’s a whole lot of failure = -1pt
• However you didn’t die = +1pt
• You now know Fat Steve’s bark means death = +5pts
• As you are banned from ever applying to the Bureau this knowledge is unlikely to be of any use to you = -6pts
• Emotional State; disappointment, regret and haunted by the cloying scent of failure. = -14pts

Ranking

• Grand Total = -65pts
• Rating = Not the best ending, but it could have been worse, you are still alive for starters and your score is only in the mid two digits negative.
• Future Life = Banned from the Bureau you soon discover this means a lifetime ban from all the world’s pubs, a preventative measure to ensure the Bureau never have to see you on the off chance they happen to visit that pub. Bitter and ashamed you retire to a life of bag pipe polishing and occasionally drop kicking dogs that look like Not Fat Steve when the resentment becomes too much to bear.

Would you care to try again