BOATPIG Page 188
You reason that challenging the titular head of the Stav Bureau at a Stav Bureau game held under Stav Bureau written rules is probably a bad idea, so instead you decide to challenge the Party Chairman.
As you announce your choice you are amazed to see pity in the eyes of the Bureau. You appear to have chosen very, very badly. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
It would be nice to say things started well for you before the catastrophic consequences of your poor choice became apparent, alas you didn’t even manage that. Beaten down under a barrage of Bureau logic, fact and rhetorical bludgeoning you are soon more focused on avoiding defeat than even attempting to win. Desperate for some time to gather your wits you deploy the inverse Ice Card, hoping to use the time to try and mentally recharge.
Alas this proves to be your last mistake, Phil’s eloquent soliloquy on how there may well be a Norwegian called Sven in the immediate area convincing the judges and dooming you to an instant defeat for incorrect card deployment.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You didn’t die = +1pt
- You took part in a match against a Grand High Master level conversationalist = +18pts
- And were duly thrashed for a basic Sven based error = -29pts
- You aren’t a member of the Stav Bureau = -25pts
- You are confused between the possibility of Norwegian’s called Sven being in the immediate area with the probability of that event. = -1pt
- Which is pretty fundamental error for a WCL conversationalist = -31pts
- Emotional State; defeated, ashamed and angry at all Norwegians called Sven = -19pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = -86pts
- Rating = Well at least your aren’t dead and you didn’t reach triple figure negative. It’s not much of an achievement but it’s all you’ve got.
- Future Life = Having just enough sense not to carry a grudge against the Bureau after they generously let you live you instead devote yourself to vengeance on Norwegians called Sven. Alas in the course of your research you discover there was in fact a Norwegian called Sven in the pub all along, just around the corner at the table by the back, so you do in fact have nothing to complain about. Deprived of even that excuse you retire back to your bassoons and bagpipes to live out your days a broken, hollow wreck of a man.
Would you care to try again?