BOATPIG Page 187
Feeling badly let down by the satnav app, and Brian Blessed, you attempt to make your way back to London in the hope of making a re-arranged Bureau interview. Alas having discarded your navigation system you have no idea how to do this, yet stubbornly refuse to re-activate it. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
Lost and confused you wander across the wilds of Somerset, hoping one day to find a way back to London. Alas as a wandering stranger from up-country you are easy prey for the Cider Druids. Taking you unawares the sinister, swaying figures drag you to the wicker combine harvester, douse you in scrumpy before sacrificing you to The Wurzels to ensure a good apple harvest.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You died = -5pts
- Not a Bureau Member = 0pts
- Your application was not formally rejected = +10pts
- Because you didn’t even make it to the interview = -11pts
- You were sacrificed by the Cider Druids in a wicker combine harvester to The Wurzels to ensure a good apple harvest = -87pts
- There was a good apple harvest = +1pt
- You doubted Brian Blessed = -8pts
- Emotional State; dead = 0pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = -100pts
- Rating = A century of failure, so it is at least a nice round number.
- Future Life = You are dead and, while the Cider Druids are not without knowledge of the Dark Arts, they are hardly going to raise you back from the dead are they? That would defeat the whole point of sacrificing you in the first place.
Would you care to try again?