BOATPIG Page 181
After wasting valuable time trying to find a luxury yacht to take you back to London, you eventually arrive in the capital and locate the Dragon. True to your plan of blagging it you dispense with any planning or preparation, instead you charge straight into the beast’s lair, once there you heft the keytar and begin mashing the buttons randomly. It soon becomes apparent this is not working out as well as you had hoped. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
The noise coming out of the abused keytar is more Hawkwind than Human League, which is a shame as Dragons do love a bit of space rock. Buoyed up by what it thinks is one of it’s favourite tunes, the Beast of London Below quite happily incinerates you before turning it’s attention back to battling the Bureau, who’s presence you had entirely failed to notice in your haste.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You do not have a position in the Stav Bureau = 0pts
- You didn’t even make it to the interview = -8pts
- You weren’t formally rejected = +2pts
- But only as a mark of respect for the dead = -3pts
- You died = -1pt
- It was a heroic looking death = +18pts
- But fairly pointless as the Bureau had things well under control = -19pts
- And you did still die = -37pts
- Emotional State; a small pile of cooling ash, mixed in with bits of molten keytar = -39pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = -87pts
- Rating = Dead and not even a very junior posthumous position in the Bureau, it was never going to be a good score was it? Alas too late to you realise that while blagging is a vital Bureau skill, it is not the only vital skill.
- Future Life = As a mixed pile of ash and molten keytar your options are somewhat limited. Leaving aside the difficulty of a voodoo resurrection the Bureau are somewhat wary in case you accidentally come back as a half man-half keytar beast, so decided to stay safe and seal your remains in a specially constructed secured vault. Thus you do eventually get your own hollowed out volcano lair, just not quite the way you had hoped.
Would you care to try again?