BOATPIG Page 175c2
With two points you have achieved an average-ish mid ranking score and you suspect the Bureau are probably looking for something more than the average. But then how relevant can knowledge of synth musicians of the 1980s really be? Really?
Quite a lot is the answer. Which is a shame, but what can you do?. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
While this wasn’t the finest performance you did demonstrate an acceptable level of knowledge of the works of Vangelis and Jan Hammer and aren’t dead, unlike many of your fellow potential candidates, so on balance the Bureau are prepared to offer you a role as Vice Minister for Miami. This could be prime posting or a stupid joke, however as there is nothing else on offer you decide to accept as it must be better than nothing.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You are a member of the Stav Bureau = +100ts
- Alas you are only a Vice Minister = -11pts
- That is relatively high up the chain though = +10pts
- Possibly = -9pts
- You have absolutely no idea what the role entails = -7pts
- You didn’t die = +1pt
- Emotional State; pride, confusion and slight apprehension = +15pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = +99pts
- Rating = While a member of the Ministry your failure to reach the ranks of Full Minister holds you back from breaching three figures. Still, not bad, not bad at all. Assuming you like synths, if you don’t then not so much.
- Stav Bureau Career = As Vice Minister for Miami your soon discover that rather than the Ministry for Geography you do in fact fall under the Ministry for Security. Your role is to infiltrate the New Romance underground and make contact with Midge Ure in an effort to tap the awesome power of his frustration for use by the Bureau, possibly to power a medium sized continent or maybe to blow up a moon (not Earth’s Moon obviously, that would be silly, but a random moon somewhere else).
- Future Life = Travelling the world on your yacht, bedecked in stunning pastel shades and utilising the awesome power of soft focus you eventually gain the trust of certain key figures in the New Romance underground and locate Midge. Convincing him that he clearly deserved far more credit that the tone deaf Geldoff you soon convinced him to work with the Bureau. With this awesome power secured you return in triumph to the Bureau, eventually getting a small extinct-volcano lair only a stones throw from the global monorail network as thanks for you success. Moving from triumph you become the leading authority on the threat posed by New Romance and eventually even learn enough to get full marks on the Van Hammer challenge. Alas by then it’s too late, but its still nice to finally beat it.
Would you care to try again?