bp172

BOATPIG Page 172

Tapping in the name of the pub the phone thinks a bit and then spits out the directions, the strangely familiar voice instructing you to head East. While you are slightly surprised at this, you though Notting Hill was West of your current location, you trust the device and follow it’s instructions.

Sometime later, after heading east at every junction, you belatedly remember where you had heard the name Michael Parker before; it was Michael Barrymore’s original name. Alas your realisation has come far, far too late. - GAME OVER

Your Ending

Following the words of Barrymore you have headed East, ever East, in accordance with the ancient chant of his acolytes. It is only when you see a giant chocolate finger swinging slowly over the pool that you realise there can be no thoughts of escape, only a dim hope for survival.

Your Achievements or Otherwise

• You didn’t die = +5pts
• You may soon = -6pts
• Even if you don’t, you’ll probably soon wish you had = -50pts
• You aren’t a member of the Stav Bureau = -100pts
• You failed to even make it to the interview = -28pts
• East, ever East = -25pts
• Emotional State; fear, terror, fear and fear = -87pts

Ranking

• Grand Total = -291pts
• Rating = One of the worst endings possible in Boatpig, but then is there a worse face than being lured to a chocolate finger themed pool party?
• Future Life = We don’t want to go into that do we? Really? Suffice to say it will end in some interesting challenges for the Scenes of Crime Officers. And the coroner. And the judge leading the subsequent inquiry.

Would you care to try again?