BOATPIG Page 171
Realising it worked last time you once again channel the wisdom of Captain Pub and indicate you will remove the shame by drinking the damned things yourself. You await the Bureau’s response. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
While not being massive fans of personal responsibility, personal irresponsibility is by far preferred, the Bureau are impressed that you are sorting out your mistakes without resorting to such heresies as throwing away alcohol.
For all that you do have to spend the evening drinking lager shandies out of a Martini glasses full of pink umbrellas and sparklers. As the evening ends you are delighted to hear that your perseverance and self sacrifice have paid off - the Bureau offer you the position of Vice Deputy Under-Minister for Enormous Pink Tents. It wasn’t what you were hoping for, however you refuse to let all your work go to waste and so grudgingly accept.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You didn’t die = +5pts
- You are a Bureau Member = +100pts
- You aren’t a full Minister = -49pts
- You aren’t even a Deputy Under-Minister = -38pts
- You are too junior to get your own hollowed out Volcano or Lava Mine = -32pts
- Emotional State; a strange cocktail of shame, disgust and pride = +1pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = -13pts
- Rating = Well this is an odd one and no mistake. You are in the Bureau so I should say well done, as it is though I think commiserations are more in order. And mocking of course, never forget the mocking.
- Future Life = To your lack of surprise you discover that there is no Ministry of Enormous Pink Tents, instead you fall under the Ministry of Public Morality, setting of another stream of ‘jokes’ about working under StavMinister Axel. Life however picks up when you are seconded to the Ministry of Security to assist the task force hunting down Graham Norton in order to make him stop. Hunting the elusive Norton through the favelas of Rio and the street of Brighton the adrenaline of the chase soon erases any regrets, you live for the thrill of the hunt. Lucky you.
Would you care to try again?