bp163

BOATPIG Page 163

If the bookie has lost all his money he clearly can’t be any good at being a bookie. So instead of following his tips you should actually do the exact opposite of what he suggests, impressed by your reasoning the barman decides to give it a go and ropes you in to help.

As the bookie is advising betting on the favourite to win, the barman decides to take bets on the worst horse finishing last. That wasn’t quite what you meant. - GAME OVER

Your Ending

To your alarm gamblers pile in to take advantage of this betting opportunity, you worry the barman is about to lose an even bigger fortune. As it turns out you spectacularly misunderstood the bookie speak, in a slightly bizarre turn of events the race is won by the jockey of the favourite who out paces all the horses. Technically therefore the favourite lost and the worst horse came in second last, as a result the barman doesn’t have to pay a penny out. You thus realise the true secret to making money out of gambling; being the house.

Intoxicated by your winnings you hurl yourself into your new life as a bookie. Only many months later do you remember you were supposed to be trying to join the Stav Bureau. Alas by then it is far too late.

Your Achievements or Otherwise

• You didn’t die = +5pts
• You are a very successful bookie = +8pts
• That wasn’t the point of the game = -9pts
• But a good effort nevertheless = +10pt
• You aren’t in anyway a member of the Stav Bureau = -25pts
• You own an outstanding pork pie hat = +9pts
• Emotional State; tap, tap, T-shape, strange vibratory gesture, star jump = 3pts

Ranking

• Grand Total = 1pt
• Rating = You did fail at the entire point of the game, however that is an outstanding hat so we can’t give you a negative score.
• Future Life = Life as a leading Turf Accountant is a roller coaster of fallen favourites, near-indecipherable gestures, hats and wild allegations of substance abuse. Such is the thrill of this life you rarely have time to realise quite how spectacularly you failed at becoming a member of the Stav Bureau. Still, you do have an excellent hat and the ability to communicate in a code that even the most determined of government agencies would struggle to crack, these are not insignificant consolation prizes.

Would you care to try again?