BOATPIG Page 158
Discarding any attempt at subtlety or elegant arguments you boldly state the simple point that Holmium has the symbol ‘Ho’.
There is a awkward pause, one that slowly lengthens until Axel realise that there is nothing more to come and that is your entire argument. To describe him as disappointed would be to miss a golden opportunity to use the word chapfallen, hence Axel was chapfallen that you would attempt such a limited argument. This is not a good thing - GAME OVER.
Your Ending
Shocked at both your abysmal grasp of depraved chemistry and you seeming inability to muster even the pretence of a decent argument Axel blunty informs you that should you proceed with your application to the Bureau he will have no option but to blackball you.
Though you consider trying to blag your way through regardless you note Axel pulling a pair of steel toe capped boots out of his bag and correctly ascertain that he was not talking metaphorically; if you attend the interview he will blacken your balls and it will not involve kiwi polish or Dulux.
Admitting defeat you return home a chastened and disappointed man.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You did not fail the interview = +1pt
- Because you would have suffered a terrible fate if you had = -34pts
- You are still in possession of a working set of reproductive organs = +9pts
- But after your shameful failure who will have you? = -50pts
- Emotional State; shamed and disappointed = -23pt
Ranking
- Grand Total = -97pts
- Rating = In keeping with the chemistry theme you rating is based on the periodic table, in this case you are Berkelium. This is appropriate as not only is Berkelium utterly useless you are also a berk.
- Future Life = Determined to obtain your revenge you devote yourself to chemistry based reprisal. You decide to synthesise a hitherto unseen element, obtain the naming rights and then use the name to forever damn the Bureau in the eyes of anyone who looks at a periodic table! Shooting at the theoretically stable Element 126 (Unbihexium) you work for decades in a self made laboratory complex, shunning the outside world as you work towards your goal. Eventually you succeed! You emerge into the world for the first time in decades to inform the world of your triumph and claim your reward. Sadly you discover that a rival team beat you to it and Element 126 has already been named. Bad luck.
Would you care to try again?