BOATPIG Page 154
Taking a wild stab you advise the barman to put his money on Fire Death Spoon in the 14:37. Recalling that the horse in question is great on the jumps the barman gratefully takes the recommendation and duly places his bet, the die cast you both turn to watch the race.
Alas while Fire Death Spoon jumps like a champion the race is on the flat and so the horse finishes dead last. That didn’t go well did it? - GAME OVER
Your Ending
While you attempt to leave the pub in shame the path is blocked by the returning landlord, seeing the weeping barman and the horse racing on television he immediately jumps to the correct conclusion. Your hopes to leave the barman to his fate are dashed when he blames your terrible horse racing tips, the look on the landlord indicating he really isn’t interested in your excuses. Or indeed facts.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- You didn’t die = +5pts
- You may come to wish you had = -4pts
- You aren’t in anyway a member of the Stav Bureau = -1pt
- In fact you didn’t even make it to the interview = -33pts
- An angry landlord wants you to pay back the lost earnings and you have no funds = -22pts
- He will offer you a way to earn the funds back = +5pts
- This isn’t a good thing = -6pts
- Emotional State; disappointment, shame, fear and a hatred of horses = -13pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = -69pts
- Rating = Now there is a symbolic score. Though in a bad way, naturally.
- Future Life = As one of the nearest pubs to Parliament you expect to earn the funds back as a barman. Alas he has a different idea, just as his punters have different appetite. You soon discover that while their principles and backbones may be limp, certain other things aren’t. You may never look at an expense claims form in the same way again.
Would you care to try again?