bp135

BOATPIG Page 135

Prodding your phone into life you call the Party Chairman. Despite being slightly disappointed you have failed to find the pub Phil agrees to assist. After confirming you know where you are and what you are doing he diagnose your problem as not navigational but far more serious; trying to know both your position and speed at the same time has upset the balance of your quantum state and left you dangerously, perhaps fatally, uncertain. That doesn’t sound good. - GAME OVER

Your Ending

Your despair is lifted as Phil carries on to offer a cure, Panthera leo induced Schrodingerian certainty. In relief you agree and Phil says some agents will be around shortly to deliver the cure.

To your surprise the cure appears to be a large box, but desperate for safety you climb in. At this point you realise two things; one you really should have remembered about Schrodinger’s Cat earlier and two the ‘cat’ Phil has chosen appears to be a medium sized lion.

Your Achievements or Otherwise

• You are trapped in a box with a hungry lion = -50pts
• You didn’t die = +5pts
• Yet = -6pts
• You aren’t a member of the Stav Bureau = -25pt
• You failed to even make it to the interview = -1pts
• Your understanding of quantum mechanics is abysmal = -4pts
• Emotional State; fear, claustrophobia and lion induced terror = -18pts

Ranking

• Grand Total = -99pts
• Rating = Not even a round ton of failure. That’s disappointing, but then did you really expect the Bureau wanted yet another member who struggles to get to the correct place on time?
• Future Life = When the box is open the wave function collapses and reveals the lion is no longer hungry and you are no longer present. As the experts retire to consider the implications of this on neo-Stavian quantum physics the lion retires to digest.

Would you care to try again?