BOATPIG Page 110
You’re barely half way through the tale when you begin to realise it isn’t going down well. Correctly believing it would be worse to just give up you persevere through to the entirely predictable current affairs ‘punch line’.
It could be said the Bureau are looking at you more in sadness than anger, but that would be an utter lie. It’s pretty much all anger. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
While you correctly divined the current affairs opening was an invitation to join in, the Bureau expected something better than an overly laboured current affairs joke that Stevie Wonder could have seen coming. Being predictable was bad, dragging it out over a far too long shaggy dog story was however inexcusable. As you are unceremoniously barred from the pub you reflect that the interview could have gone better.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- Failed the interview = -7pts
- Not in any way a Bureau Member = -25pts
- Barred from the pub = -5pts
- Barred from every other pub just to be sure = -44pts
- Got a pint at the pub = +1pt
- Didn’t get a chance to finish it = -2pts
- Emotional State; Disappointment, shame at your predictability, in mourning for lost pint. = -18pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = -100pts
- Rating = A round ton of failure, a predictably bad score that is entirely appropriate for your failure, indeed some would say crime.
- Future Life = Deposited outside your house you discover the Stavish Inquisition have burnt your house down to express quite how displeased the Bureau are with your performance. However they did at least rescue your prized collection of bassoons and bagpipes, alas that was merely so they could smash them up in elaborately contrived ways in front of you. As the last jet powered steam roller finishes it’s (failed) attempt to jump over five bagpipes in a row the Inquisition depart, leaving only the ruins of your life and a large bill.
Would you care to try again?