BOATPIG Page 102
You decide to accept this seemingly impressive role, however you note some sad shakes of the head from the Bureau as if you have somehow failed. Leaving aside this mystery you are taken aside by the Chairman who explains your new, vital, role in the Bureau. - GAME OVER
Your Ending
As you brace yourselves for the months of training and briefing that Chairman Phil insists are required for your new role as Head of the Bureau Unending Mission to Foil Urban’s Nefariousness you wonder how much of the Bureau you will see during this intensive training and what perks you will gain. Over the coming year the answers become clear as not a lot and none respectively. You however are distracted from this disappointment by a bigger mystery - why is your job title always capitalised. Eventually one of your trainers, after a few too many drinks, takes pity on you and points our the acronym; your vital role is in fact Head of BUM FUN.
Your Achievements or Otherwise
- Somehow you have been appointed to a position in the Stav Bureau = +50pts
- However you are not a Stav Minister = -51pts
- Your entire role is in fact little more than a contrived acronym based ‘joke’ = -29pts
- Which it took you a year to notice = -48pts
- And someone else had to point it out to you = -13pts
- You have been to the Guatemalan port of Livingstone, a mysterious and exotic port few have visited = +51pt
- It was soon apparent why few had visited it = -52pts
- You didn’t die = +2pts
- Emotional State; shame and dishonour at your complete failure to spot that acronym for over a year = -9pts
Ranking
- Grand Total = -99pts
- Rating = Your job is literally a joke. And for once this is a correct use of literally, this fact is the only thing keeping your score above -100pts. That and the fact you aren’t dead or forever barred from the Bureau.
- Future Life = Years of hard work and patient lobbying pay off as the Bureau eventually relent and move you to a new position - Prime Ranger Overseeing Survelliance Tracking Investigating and Tracing Urban Triggered Events. While you suspect this may be another contrived joke at your expense, you decide you will be happier if you never know, a wise decision given the circumstances.
Would you care to try again?