The Diplomatic System is the approved StavBureau system for classifying and categorising depraved activities and the threat their perpetrators pose.
The categories are described below along with typical descriptions.
- Category I - Protesting at the Conference - Low level disturbing activities such as Vin Diesel in a low cut pink kimono or Noel Edmonds.
- Category II - Assaulting the Ambassador - Something best carried out alone as Fireman Chris once found out to his cost.
- Category III - Raiding the Embassy - Kevin McCloud’s presence suspected in the area.
- Category IV - Violating the Consulate - As above but with added Viagra and a copy of the Welsh specialist text book the Baaaahma Sutra.
- Category V - A Diplomatic Incident - The correct alert status after the failure of Aspel proof doors
- Category VI - Disrupting the Ambassador’s Reception - Imminent threat of Barrymore