WorldConversationLeague

The World Conversation League is the only fully accredited league for conversation in the world.

Gameplay

The game requires two players; any more and things get confusing, any less and the game tends to be over quite quickly. The players agree on a subject that they disagree over and proceed to argue until the argument is concluded and one player is declared the victor.

Rankings

Conversationalist are ranked according to victories, with a quite ridiculous weighting applied to most recent victories. The person topping the standing being undisputed world champion while second place bestows the rank of No.1 contender.

The actual rankings are somewhat disputed at the moment due to the inability of several WCL conversationalists to fully grasp the implications of the Grand Unified Theory of Quantum Conversation (GUT-QC).

Rules

• An argument is started.
• A pretence of equal talking time should be attempted.
• Victory is obtained by one player winning the argument or through a card based insta-win. (See below)

GUT-QC

The Grand Unified Theory of Quantum Conversation states that it is possible to hold two separate and contradictory conversations at the same time. This is an application of the Copenhagen School thinking whereby the argument has no state until observed when the augmentative waveform collapses and someone wins. As two waveforms can exist at the same time there is clearly no problem with having two seemingly contradictory arguments at the same time. Sadly some players refuse to accept this as it may involve them losing.

Tactical Tips

• Cards can, and should, be deployed as appropriate.
• Logic is recommended by most players, though by no means compulsory.
• Rhetorical bludgeoning and warping the terms of the argument to suit your position is positively encouraged.

Cards

The card system is immensely complicated but it is vital part of any aspiring conversationalist’s armoury. Some cards can be modified by being held at 90º, 180º or on the players head. It is crucial not to get these confused when deploying a card or you could lose instantly (see for instance the Ice Card)

Main Cards

OTH - On The Head, xxº Angle the card must be held at

• Black Card - I have lost the argument
• White Card - I have won the argument
• Grey Card - Warning argument loss is imminent
• Green Card - This argument is valid in the US, OTH this argument is not valid in the US
• Orange Card / O Card (nobody remembers which) - 0º Does the pope shit in the woods, 180º Were you born on the sun, 90º Have you eaten at a Harvester, OTH Have you visited a foundry
• Fez Card - Can only be deployed OTH where it indicates the argument is acceptable in Morocco. Any other deployment is an instant loss.
• Ice Card - Indicates the presence, suspected or otherwise, of Norwegians called Sven in the immediate area
• Teal Card - 0º Don’t forget the stoat! 180º Don’t forget the badger.
• Purple Card - Aha! I’ve got you on this point of the argument!
• Mahogany Card - It existed. I’m sure of it.
• Ice Card - 0º There is a Norwegian called Sven in the nearby area. 90º There may be a Norwegian called Sven in the nearby area. 180º There is not a Norwegian called Sven in the nearby area. An incorrect declaration using this card results in immediate loss of the argument. Each player is provided with a portable freezer in which to keep this card.