BOATPIG Page 164
Given the noteriety of Pope Urban you dismiss conventional weapons and decide the only option is to fight depravity with depravity. Thus only Axel, as Minister for Public Morality, will have the depraved knowledge this task will require. Your mind made up you contact Axel and inform him of Urban’s return.
Axel thanks you for the information, tells you he has a better plan and rushes to put a mission together, gathering airships and heavily armed apes from across the Bureau for an overwhelming strike before Urban can escape. After that frankly mixed response there is nothing left to do but wait. - GAME OVER
As the mission unfolds Axel takes you to one side and berates you as a fool. Put simply your entire plan was terrible; you can’t defeat Urban by fighting depravity with depravity - Urban isn’t particularly depraved, certainly not beyond the minimum standard of depravity required of a Pope. He doesn’t even know what a Westbury Smear is, and the last thing you want to do is risk explaining it or you might give him ideas!
Though the ranks of the Stavish Inquistion do their best they discover Urban has escaped, leaving only a few haunting clues and a defiled temple covered in eye-watering calendars. To preserve the secret of Urban’s return the Bureau destroy the temple and blame it all on local construction crews, to their delighted surprise this cover-up actually works.
That only leave the matter of your application. While you did find Urban your plan was terrible and the Bureau did fail to re-capture him. Admittedly that last fact wasn’t actually your fault such trivial details have never bothered the Bureau before and they don’t intend to start now. For your crimes, the crimes of others and several things which weren’t actually crimes at all, you are sentenced to salt mining on the moon until sorry.
Would you care to try again?