The Bureauvision Wrong Contest Drinking Game 2021 - Something is Rotten in the State of Holland. More so than usual.
The Bureauvision Wrong Contest is one of the highlights of the Bureau cultural calendar, a majestic and awe-inspiring blend of cultural appreciation, drinking and national stereotypes that has been wowing the crowds since 2013. It was feared that the move to remote gaming would ruin the magic, but once again the Bureau Standing Committee on Drinking Games have sneered at logic and conventional wisdom to produce an even more majestic Rule Set
Aim
The aim of the game is to get spectacularly drunk whilst watching the Eurovision song contest. This is to be achieved through the medium of a stereotype based drinking game.
Summary of Changes
For it’s crimes and those of others, but mostly it’s own, this year the contest has been inflicted upon the Dutch. In accordance with long honoured and venerable custom the Bureau Standing Committee reviewed typical Dutch drinks, recoiled in horror at what they found (Advocaat, Curaçao and some nasty knock-off gin) and took the National Drink rule out back to have it shot. The National penalties have been update to reflect the Dutch contributions, if you can even call them that, to the world.
Full Rules
Whenever an agreed incident occurs a finger of drink must be consumed, save where incident is listed as a double penalty in which case two fingers must be consumed.
For Down the Drink penalties the drink currently in the contestants hand must be finished. This does not stack with the any other incidents for liver protection reasons.
Agreed Incidents
There are four forms of incidents; Musical, Diplomatic, Voting and Swedish.
Musical Incidents
- Gratuitous local instrument usage
- A country entering a song someone watching may actually want to purchase - Double Penalty
- Accordions - Double Penalty
- Use of a keytar - Down the Drink
- Contestants singing in a non-local language that isn’t English (i.e. a Finn singing in French) - Double Penalty
- Excessive baby oil (i.e. some)
- Pyrotechnics
- Welding inspired pyrotechnics of terrible appearance - Double Penalty
- Beards
- Gayer than Gay a gay musical
- Ironic song choice (i.e a Greek entry about money)
- Warbling like a harpy
- Backing Dancers who cannot, in fact, Dance
- Detachable costumes
Diplomatic Incidents
- An entry of such abysmal quality as to bring shame upon the entering country
- Zero effort stereotypical entry
- Song title or lyrics are clearly a euphemism - Double Penalty
- Dance move that involves cocking of leg
- Dance move that involves cockling of leg - Double Penalty
- “I like that. No you don’t”, disagreement with partner over whether someone likes an entry - One Penalty Each
- First opening of the Hitler Window
- First opening of the Fritzel Basement - Double Penalty
Dutch Incidents
- Band dressed in the manner of prostitutes
- Presenter makes an attempt at Comedy - Double Penalty
- Wearing, holding or in any way referencing clogs
- The gratuitous presence Bicycles
- If said bicycles are being ridden - Double Penalty
- Someone who is bi riding a unicycle - Down the Drink
- Anyone falling into a canal - Double Penalty
- Dykes (Large earthen banks)
- Dykes (The other kind) - Half Penalty (Because there will be loads of them)
Voting Incidents
- Having the presenter who reports on the country’s vote be an idiot
- Having the presenter who reports on the country’s vote be clearly bored - Double Penalty
- Having the presenter who reports on the country’s vote be drunk/a lady-boy/similar - Down the Drink
- Giving a high score to the country next door
- France giving any marks to the UK - Double Penalty
- France giving 12 points to the UK - Down the Drink
Winning the Game
There are no winners, only survivors.