Pope Urban, mortal enemy of both sanity and regular calendars. Pope Urban is a formidable foe, both for his logic defying calendar and because we’ve no idea which number he is. Despite this he rates barely a Category I threat in the Diplomatic System as he’s not actually that depraved. That we know of at least
Urban Sprawl
A leading player in the [[Pope_Wars?]] he initially fought against Julius Caesar but, at the moment of victory, betrayed his allies and attempted to institute his own unnatural calendar, prolonging the war considerably.
Excess Urbanisation
There have been many Popes called Urban, eight in fact, and frankly any of them could be the Pope Urban. We have however narrowed down the list of suspects somewhat;
- Urban I - Too dull we suspect.
- Urban II - A good candidate as he did like his crusading.
- Urban III - Far too soft. He cried himself to death after a crusading defeat, clearly he couldn’t be a military leader.
- Urban IV - Leading candidate. We’ve no idea why. He probably shouldn’t be if we’re honest.
- Urban V - Couldn’t organise a crusade but was obsessed with ruling Italy. A decidedly mixed candidate.
- Urban VI - Ended the War of the Eight Saints, can’t be him then. Though they did know how to name a war back then, that is a spiffing name for a conflict.
- Urban VII - Pope for 13 days. Hence a strong contender on the grounds his rage at not getting much chance to be Pope could easily have re-incarnated him.
- Urban VIII - The actual leading candidate. The man who ordered Galileo to recant is clearly the kind of man who would defy logic and common sense to declare a war on sanity.
- Urban IX - There never was a Pope Urban IX. But it is entirely possible that the calendar-devastating lunatic of the Pope Wars was an entirely new, historically-unreported interloper. It would be disastrously naïve to put such vileness past one of history’s greatest villains.
Urban Decay
Pope Urban is presumed dead. But then we thought that last time and he still reincarnated.